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4DCube

There was an attempt
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Hello my friends, it's me again! I'm surprisingly not dead! 
Unfortunately I've had a bit of a shit time of it the past... ugh, two years? More-so the last year and 2 months. 

Anyway, life's really not... doing much for me. I've been trying hard as hell to draw and participate in my hobbies and live, I've seen various psych clinics and autism support groups but I keep ending up on waiting lists and waiting lists going on seemingly endlessly. 

After some stuff that happened last year that made my life kinda fall apart around me, I tried to reinvent myself a little and got a new job, it's okay! I guess? It's no worse or better than my old job overall I suppose, but it's very draining mentally and I use up pretty much all my energy doing that.

I've REALLY TRIED to get on with comms and such, like really tried, I have a tonne of WIPs on the go (some pretty damn far) but I can't feel satisfied or confident with what I'm producing. And honestly the fact I keep feeling more and more guilty about the delays is impacting on my productivity more than anything.

For my commissions I always tried to request payment upon completion because I know my mental health can be patchy but I know a few people insisted on paying beforehand etc, I'm not sure who, I'll see if I can find my old list and @ anyone effected in the comments.

Anyway, I'm paid on the 15th and I'm feeling somewhat confident that this coming month is going to be a little easier... generally, at least I hope so.

Anyway, if you've commed me and I've not finished whatever it is, no matter how far I've got, please contact me via notes or more preferably dis.cord (4D# 6969) and I'll refund you. 

(I will be checking on my old lists so please don't try get free money from me, if you're a friend and need help, lemme know! I did keep everything decently organised so I have a list of all old comms + payment status + progress status etc)

My sincerest apologies for the long delays you've experienced and the long delay for me to get to this point, I've really been just holding on hoping I can satisfy once things get better but that's kinda not happening for me currently so I'm just gonna clear my conscience of this and try and get on and progress with personal projects and maybe take on a more controlled workflow in the future if I ever decide to take commissions again, hopefully in a more stable mindset and living situation.

I am really hoping on focusing on developing my art more to a point where I'm satisfied and confident working, perhaps spending more time putting love into my own OCs and working on other forms of art in projects etc.

Seriously I love you all, I thank everyone for being so patient with me through this shitty chapter in my life and I really hope the next one for me (and everyone else) comes soon and brings with it some luck and happiness, it's really all I can hope for myself and my friends and family.

Warmest and most loving regards,
Fourd
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As the title says, I've got my internet working to an extent I can actually access the web now! I've also got a long weekend because of the bank holiday, but I'm going away for a few days next week.

Sadly as soon as I finished work I seemed to come down with a nasty cold or something?? So I'm dealing with that, but I'm gonna attempt to get some art and stuff done while I have some time and the ability to post it and use my PC! Hopefully I'll be able to figure out a way of keeping a little more active but knowing me that might not happen, sorry I'm awful osdfbgdjfg
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Hey friends,

Again, I'm so sorry about my lack of activity. I want to try turn that around soon but it's going to be hard. My new job has me spending most of my "free" time travelling and due to my fatigue disorder I push myself to the limit during the day out of fear revealing any of my conditions will cause me to get fired and it causes me to crash out of exhaustion as soon as I'm home, so I've been really having a hard time finding time at all.

Other than that, my home broadband has decided to entirely tank itself so I can only use my PC when there's literally no one else at home, and trust me, that's not often when your sibling is always bringing over friends/partners and you rarely get home earlier than 7pm.

Mum's been threatening to kick me out? Long story short, she basically threatened to confiscate some of my stuff for a Very silly reason (I was talking to my sibling at 1 am, on a Saturday night) and I basically stood up for myself for once because A) that's my shit, B) I'm an adult??? and C) I literally pay rent to live in the house (and its more than the average rent in my area).

Money is pretty fuckin' bad for me at the moment, too. I helped a mate out, I'm very bad at saying no, but I helped a mate out with a lot of money so he wouldn't end up homeless again. Now I'm in a nice big debt spiral, so as soon as I'm paid every month it's immediately consumed by fees, my rent to my mum, travel costs etc etc. Basically I'm really stressed right now, I should really work on art and then at least once I've cleared my backlog I'd have a potential add. source of income but that's gonna be really hard for me to do. 

Tl;dr a load of excuses why I'm not here and it basically boils down to no internet, no money, no time, all stress.


Love you all though, seriously. I'm doin' my best to get back into shit but it's really hard.


-Fourd
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QUICK UPDATE

2 min read
Hey my friends, sorry I've been a lil quiet! Been busy with my new job and a bunch of other bits n bobs, trying to get in to the new routine and thoroughly exhausting myself in the process hddhv

My tablet also decided to start cutting out so after some annoyance with attempting to fix it, I've ordered a new one (this time I went for a cheap pen tablet computer in hopes of making art a little more convenient for me as I currently travel ~3-4 hours on the bus per day so I could really be using that time to do stuff)

Also trying my best to get a vehicle of my own despite it being 10x more expensive than taking public transport, simply because I lose so many hours a day traveling and exhaust myself in the process, I think I would rather grin and bare the cost of my own transport and be able to strike up a better work/life balance than I am currently managing

I've had some reaaally patchy mental health the past couple of months (big relapses into the state of mind I was in later last summer) which has kinda halted some of my free time- hopefully as soon as I get a vehicle I should be able to travel to a therapist that will deal with my conditions so that should be good

Anyway- that's a tired summary of what's been going on with me recently, hopefully once I get my life settled into a more sensible routine and generally get myself into a more stable and less patchy place I should be more consistent here but for now all I can manage is attempts at coming back usually foiled by life and my shitty mental health xjsbdjsifh

Hope you're all well!!
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I GOT THE JOB!

1 min read
So, as most of you know I've spent the past couple of weeks really busy with job applications/interviews/etc.

Well, about half an hour ago I got a call telling me I'd got the job that I'd really wanted!! It's brilliant pay, not many hours, and for a company with a really lovely atmosphere!

I really hope this helps me have more time to draw, honestly, because the hours are less than the hours I currently work, which should allow me a better work/life balance! I'm really excited for the position, honestly I can't wait! I start sometime in January (date to be confirmed) and have some additional formalities to go through before the position is confirmed (basically, I have to speak with the MD and hope that he likes me) and I get my contract!

I'm so excited, what a super birthday present honestly- even if it is a day early skdjfggjdfk
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Featured

IF I OWE YOU ART PLEASE READ!!! by 4DCube, journal

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